The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Panties = found