9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.