Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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