By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Your penis caused this!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again