Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Mexico (505)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis. http://tfl.nu/t3p3
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (77) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Heroically.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night? (505): Heroically. http://tfl.nu/ycud
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (90)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle. http://tfl.nu/hoqs
  Replies (3) Good night (253) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face http://tfl.nu/xc5y
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (140) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it http://tfl.nu/hkkt
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row. http://tfl.nu/22so
  Replies (6) Good night (174) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys http://tfl.nu/88rh
  Replies (10) Good night (1266) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch. http://tfl.nu/nw9o
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/uf9c
  Replies (2) Good night (237) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels. http://tfl.nu/3182
  Replies (3) Good night (172) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (178) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on http://tfl.nu/wdzm
  Replies (5) Good night (322) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink? http://tfl.nu/kn1e
  Replies (15) Good night (754) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once. (1-506): Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring. http://tfl.nu/s5ra
  Replies (7) Good night (1875) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt