Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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he just fucked me for my cheese.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had