Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
So is that a yes?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he just fucked me for my cheese.