I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
So is that a yes?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico