He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...