Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick

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  (216): he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick http://tfl.nu/dzgm
  Replies (4) Good night (138) Bad night (542)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.

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  (434): After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused. http://tfl.nu/s2gl
  Replies (7) Good night (183) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.

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  (307): You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits. http://tfl.nu/1y4s
  Replies (2) Good night (175) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood

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  (360): I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood http://tfl.nu/c9r6
  Replies (1) Good night (135) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.

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  (905): Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like. http://tfl.nu/sn8m
  Replies (3) Good night (184) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.

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  (201): Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina. http://tfl.nu/3zwg
  Replies (1) Good night (169) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.

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  (646): I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex. http://tfl.nu/fgxj
  Replies (3) Good night (242) Bad night (412)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.

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  (832): Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial. http://tfl.nu/mqvg
  Replies (1) Good night (142) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK

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  (269): YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK http://tfl.nu/ivyv
  Replies (2) Good night (249) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.

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  (651): I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/aisw
  Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.

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  (337): Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you. http://tfl.nu/l52y
  Replies (4) Good night (270) Bad night (400)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding

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  (603): Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding http://tfl.nu/gbas
  Replies (1) Good night (142) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...

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  (205): Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning... http://tfl.nu/2gig
  Replies (0) Good night (156) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.

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  (817): Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies. http://tfl.nu/m7wt
  Replies (1) Good night (194) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!

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  (361): Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home! http://tfl.nu/kqv8
  Replies (1) Good night (202) Bad night (380)