Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.

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  (714): That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me. http://tfl.nu/ou1n
  Replies (1) Good night (202) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.

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  (203): I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left. http://tfl.nu/swl5
  Replies (6) Good night (292) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.

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  (740): Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls. http://tfl.nu/nbbw
  Replies (19) Good night (284) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  my vag sweat smells like doritos

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?

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  (415): my vag sweat smells like doritos (617): so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay? http://tfl.nu/hu1h
  Replies (3) Good night (329) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.

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  (716): Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped. http://tfl.nu/yje2
  Replies (3) Good night (281) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it

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  (978): It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it http://tfl.nu/22ti
  Replies (2) Good night (224) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.

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  (323): There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation. http://tfl.nu/bbsf
  Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"

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  (802): I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass" http://tfl.nu/qu0i
  Replies (5) Good night (234) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.

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  (626): The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it. http://tfl.nu/08si
  Replies (1) Good night (183) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.

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  (612): You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now. http://tfl.nu/ym19
  Replies (6) Good night (226) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.

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  (573): He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it. http://tfl.nu/rclz
  Replies (3) Good night (223) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again

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  (252): Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again http://tfl.nu/a8pw
  Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...

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  (850): she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top... http://tfl.nu/vvwb
  Replies (3) Good night (175) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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  (603): Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/pfkq
  Replies (5) Good night (222) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.

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  (807): Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/5cxi
  Replies (6) Good night (245) Bad night (573)