Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (905): View more from Ontario

  So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?

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  (905): So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose? http://tfl.nu/yuqf
  Replies (11) Good night (189) Bad night (1038)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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  (202): Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/o77i
  Replies (9) Good night (197) Bad night (1020)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...

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  (859): I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint... http://tfl.nu/nvoy
  Replies (6) Good night (285) Bad night (937)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.

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  (561): His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger. http://tfl.nu/j2rh
  Replies (3) Good night (216) Bad night (868)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.

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  (337): Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf (337): OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD. http://tfl.nu/09h0
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (864)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.

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  (202): Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund. http://tfl.nu/7pae
  Replies (8) Good night (245) Bad night (852)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.

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  (202): It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE. http://tfl.nu/cbed
  Replies (6) Good night (162) Bad night (784)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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  (803): Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE http://tfl.nu/rt74
  Replies (13) Good night (252) Bad night (728)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust

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  (513): It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust http://tfl.nu/67aa
  Replies (2) Good night (224) Bad night (694)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...

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  (617): you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet... http://tfl.nu/1uxq
  Replies (2) Good night (206) Bad night (680)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters

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  (315): i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters http://tfl.nu/mv30
  Replies (16) Good night (189) Bad night (666)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?

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  (570): Can I use your baby to go shoplifting? http://tfl.nu/mon8
  Replies (3) Good night (265) Bad night (664)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.

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  (585): I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits. http://tfl.nu/c0pb
  Replies (8) Good night (367) Bad night (655)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....

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  (248): It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory.... http://tfl.nu/ewu1
  Replies (4) Good night (298) Bad night (649)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate

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  (518): I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate http://tfl.nu/kwqw
  Replies (9) Good night (237) Bad night (637)