Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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  (773): He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache http://tfl.nu/46b1
  Replies (12) Good night (173) Bad night (1291)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid

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  (315): Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid http://tfl.nu/u5v9
  Replies (5) Good night (207) Bad night (863)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.

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  (716): I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand. http://tfl.nu/bl1h
  Replies (5) Good night (183) Bad night (754)
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  (607): View more from New York

  She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam

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  (607): She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam http://tfl.nu/1ft8
  Replies (3) Good night (145) Bad night (754)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??

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  (814): What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares?? http://tfl.nu/za5w
  Replies (8) Good night (194) Bad night (662)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin

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  (319): You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin http://tfl.nu/3xwn
  Replies (5) Good night (198) Bad night (662)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is

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  (780): I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/n0jt
  Replies (6) Good night (254) Bad night (652)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed

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  (856): I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed http://tfl.nu/01qd
  Replies (3) Good night (137) Bad night (640)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour

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  (607): Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour http://tfl.nu/fhu0
  Replies (1) Good night (249) Bad night (631)
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  (646): View more from New York

  he was definitely tindering while i gave him head

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  (646): he was definitely tindering while i gave him head http://tfl.nu/dzhu
  Replies (2) Good night (154) Bad night (628)
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  (805): View more from California

  you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends

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  (805): you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends http://tfl.nu/d359
  Replies (5) Good night (270) Bad night (619)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.

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  (832): We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight. http://tfl.nu/lfpp
  Replies (3) Good night (157) Bad night (607)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

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  (325): I put a zucchini in my pussy for you http://tfl.nu/c2jl
  Replies (8) Good night (467) Bad night (600)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole

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  (757): Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole http://tfl.nu/7d8z
  Replies (2) Good night (160) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.

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  (219): Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time. http://tfl.nu/f7se
  Replies (7) Good night (295) Bad night (596)