Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...