Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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  (773): He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache http://tfl.nu/46b1
  Replies (10) Good night (148) Bad night (1161)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.

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  (815): You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother. http://tfl.nu/agj9
  Replies (8) Good night (205) Bad night (865)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid

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  (315): Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid http://tfl.nu/u5v9
  Replies (5) Good night (204) Bad night (849)
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  (607): View more from New York

  She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam

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  (607): She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam http://tfl.nu/1ft8
  Replies (3) Good night (136) Bad night (719)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married

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  (409): He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married http://tfl.nu/v15x
  Replies (5) Good night (274) Bad night (712)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.

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  (716): I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand. http://tfl.nu/bl1h
  Replies (5) Good night (170) Bad night (689)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin

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  (319): You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin http://tfl.nu/3xwn
  Replies (5) Good night (194) Bad night (639)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is

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  (780): I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/n0jt
  Replies (6) Good night (236) Bad night (616)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour

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  (607): Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour http://tfl.nu/fhu0
  Replies (1) Good night (233) Bad night (608)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

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  (325): I put a zucchini in my pussy for you http://tfl.nu/c2jl
  Replies (8) Good night (455) Bad night (582)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.

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  (785): Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this. http://tfl.nu/vhi9
  Replies (4) Good night (216) Bad night (577)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?

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  (314): She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again? http://tfl.nu/ze7n
  Replies (5) Good night (299) Bad night (572)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car

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  (806): Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car http://tfl.nu/zknv
  Replies (4) Good night (159) Bad night (572)
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  (408): View more from California

  Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?

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  (408): Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans? http://tfl.nu/zlf3
  Replies (6) Good night (193) Bad night (551)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole

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  (757): Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole http://tfl.nu/7d8z
  Replies (2) Good night (139) Bad night (547)