Worst Nights of the Month

ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home

  Fav 0 9 139

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.

  Fav 0 9 77

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors

  (660): View more from Missouri

  You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?

  Fav 0 13 72

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day

  Fav 0 38 49

  share tweet
  

• (786): View more from Florida

  I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?

  Fav 0 39 46

  share tweet
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear

  Fav 0 32 42

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you

  Fav 0 5 41

  share tweet
  

• (408): View more from California

  Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried

  Fav 0 2 37

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father

  Fav 0 45 37

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.

  Fav 0 26 37

  share tweet
  

• (940): View more from Texas

  It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test

  Fav 0 11 34

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.

  Fav 0 12 33

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.

  Fav 0 12 33

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  When have you ever know me to go too far?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Yeah. Besides those.

  Fav 0 25 28

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT