I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.