only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing