my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.