So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night