I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.