Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.