This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"