Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.