Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm bleeding and have questions
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.