As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit