Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season