I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.