I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart