Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world