I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?