Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (210)

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  (512): View more from Texas

  things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

  (210): View more from Texas

  I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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  (512): things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over" (210): I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback. http://tfl.nu/pi9n
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.

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  (210): Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me. http://tfl.nu/zs5w
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.

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  (210): I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float. http://tfl.nu/rjkn
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  (210): View more from Texas

  First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat

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  You had me at first table

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  (210): First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat (818): You had me at first table http://tfl.nu/zwwm
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

  (210): View more from Texas

  You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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  (716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?

  (210): View more from Texas

  Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine

  (830): View more from Texas

  drunken problem solving at its finest

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  (830): Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra? (210): Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine (830): drunken problem solving at its finest http://tfl.nu/2c5e
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  (210): View more from Texas

  did you know gatorade and rum go really good together

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  Are you doing depressed science again

  (210): View more from Texas

  maybe

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  (210): did you know gatorade and rum go really good together (1-210): Are you doing depressed science again (210): maybe http://tfl.nu/zjts
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.

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  (210): Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that. (682): Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude. http://tfl.nu/g9al
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.

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  (210): I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do. http://tfl.nu/dd4u
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.

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  (210): I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob. http://tfl.nu/g13n
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.

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  (210): Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course. http://tfl.nu/nbyi
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  (210): View more from Texas

  He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  You went over didnt you?

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  (210): He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with (1-210): You went over didnt you? http://tfl.nu/ykhn
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  (210): View more from Texas

  We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".

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  (210): We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness". http://tfl.nu/kq4n
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  (210): View more from Texas

  "But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!

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  (210): "But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!! http://tfl.nu/6byh
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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  (210): I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted. http://tfl.nu/x81s
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