I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho