Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (312)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short http://tfl.nu/ro22
  Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'. http://tfl.nu/60ox
  Replies (10) Good night (865) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them. http://tfl.nu/b0nn
  Replies (4) Good night (635) Bad night (135) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!? http://tfl.nu/obq2
  Replies (4) Good night (487) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again. http://tfl.nu/hmft
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (136) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men. http://tfl.nu/h4bo
  Replies (7) Good night (512) Bad night (155)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing http://tfl.nu/oxks
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent? http://tfl.nu/n82j
  Replies (7) Good night (262) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  How was it playing wingman?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): How was it playing wingman? (312): I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed http://tfl.nu/t31c
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have http://tfl.nu/kcpe
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/vx4i
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?" http://tfl.nu/y5jf
  Replies (1) Good night (258) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him. http://tfl.nu/tfrh
  Replies (7) Good night (803) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'. (219): I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said http://tfl.nu/2r64
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (508)