he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.