Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.