I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm gonna fight the coyote
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Who died my cat blue again?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.