According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have tasted many bathrooms
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?