I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.