Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us