Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Follow @tfln