Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Vermont (802)

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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  (802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe
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  There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking

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  Omg so it's educational?

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  (802): There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking (1-802): Omg so it's educational? http://tfl.nu/zo1h
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  All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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  (802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5
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  I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich

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  (802): I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich http://tfl.nu/ehbw
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  as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment

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  (802): as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment http://tfl.nu/bym2
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  You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.

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  A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.

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  (802): You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars. (1-802): A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning. http://tfl.nu/iq00
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  "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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  (802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4
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  We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party

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  (802): We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party http://tfl.nu/otax
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  just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store

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  was it you?

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  ...yes

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  (802): just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store (203): was it you? (802): ...yes http://tfl.nu/br4h
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  Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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  (802): Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter? http://tfl.nu/jufp
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  Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

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  'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

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  (802): Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday. (802): 'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!' http://tfl.nu/efoo
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  Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs

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  (802): Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs http://tfl.nu/usn4
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  I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

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  (802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9
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  Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.

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  (802): Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful. http://tfl.nu/lc1g
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  I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest

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  (802): I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest http://tfl.nu/d882
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