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Last Night in Maryland (301)

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i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.

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(301): i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir. http://tfl.nu/enui

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Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?

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(301): Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich? http://tfl.nu/66qn

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a search helicopter?!

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(301): a search helicopter?! http://tfl.nu/5l8d

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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....

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(301): She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice.... http://tfl.nu/0ncm

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they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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(301): they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with. http://tfl.nu/84m6

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I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.

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(301): I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this. http://tfl.nu/hhg4

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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.

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(301): you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off. http://tfl.nu/9btz

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It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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(301): It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have. http://tfl.nu/pc4d

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Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

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(301): Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get http://tfl.nu/ews4

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the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.

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(301): the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/vq2t

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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.

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(301): We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else. http://tfl.nu/5mkn

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Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons

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(301): Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons http://tfl.nu/ha6n

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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

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Get out now.

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(301): If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me? (513): Get out now. http://tfl.nu/w3kk

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Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.

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(301): Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward. http://tfl.nu/yset

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I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd

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(301): I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd http://tfl.nu/xdaa

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Last Night in Maryland (301)

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