I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES