Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.