Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Come on in and take your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew