she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"