wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.