How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again