I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay