We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off