Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick