Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?