If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I touched a dick in church today
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...