Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I touched a dick in church today
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single