Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I touched a dick in church today
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.