Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.