Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (313)

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.

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  (313): It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks. http://tfl.nu/13qa
  Replies (14) Good night (1435) Bad night (725)
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  Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.

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  (313): Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins. http://tfl.nu/hjt3
  Replies (8) Good night (421) Bad night (1246)
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  It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.

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  (313): It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike. http://tfl.nu/mqaw
  Replies (4) Good night (309) Bad night (1091) Order T-Shirt
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  Are we still banned from the library?

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  (313): Are we still banned from the library? http://tfl.nu/xtiu
  Replies (12) Good night (2010) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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  (313): I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer. http://tfl.nu/dqld
  Replies (19) Good night (1128) Bad night (451)
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  its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

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  (313): its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore http://tfl.nu/d5rl
  Replies (5) Good night (334) Bad night (1335)
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  Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.

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  (313): Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career. http://tfl.nu/jur5
  Replies (16) Good night (399) Bad night (2127) Order T-Shirt
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  So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.

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  (313): So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk. http://tfl.nu/79dj
  Replies (4) Good night (1736) Bad night (286)
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  No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.

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  (313): No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/zdpv
  Replies (9) Good night (465) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
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  Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.

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  (313): Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/t847
  Replies (8) Good night (1999) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

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  Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

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  (313): I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges. (1-313): Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss. http://tfl.nu/0qrk
  Replies (3) Good night (2761) Bad night (369)
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  I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding

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  (313): I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding http://tfl.nu/qljv
  Replies (9) Good night (350) Bad night (2271) Order T-Shirt
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  I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.

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  (313): I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others. http://tfl.nu/ph3w
  Replies (6) Good night (1483) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina

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  (313): I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina http://tfl.nu/zo54
  Replies (5) Good night (2572) Bad night (407)
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  Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.

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  (313): Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie. http://tfl.nu/1dd0
  Replies (7) Good night (2384) Bad night (320)