My orgasm happened in two different decades
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.