i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like