I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet