Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor