Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (650)

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  (925): View more from California

  Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

  (650): View more from California

  Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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  (925): Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to. (650): Its a good thing to know for upcoming events. http://tfl.nu/a1ga
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (163)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

  (831): View more from California

  I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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  (650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u
  Replies (4) Good night (1141) Bad night (155)
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  (650): View more from California

  I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.

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  (650): I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood. http://tfl.nu/ls7g
  Replies (5) Good night (912) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you

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  (650): Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you http://tfl.nu/x9ov
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (143) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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  (801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (163)
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  (650): View more from California

  Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?

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  (650): Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation? http://tfl.nu/9kky
  Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah

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  (650): Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah http://tfl.nu/cx0s
  Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.

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  (650): At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe. http://tfl.nu/ot23
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (204)
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  (707): View more from California

  I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

  (650): View more from California

  There is so much wrong with that sentence

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

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  (707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (325)
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  (650): View more from California

  Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.

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  (650): Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days. http://tfl.nu/kjo1
  Replies (0) Good night (238) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.

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  (650): He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse. http://tfl.nu/0nh4
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.

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  (650): That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands. http://tfl.nu/y7oo
  Replies (2) Good night (182) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.

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  (650): I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night. http://tfl.nu/uq34
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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  (650): No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady. http://tfl.nu/wggf
  Replies (17) Good night (903) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.

  (650): View more from California

  And so far nothing been broken!

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  (650): We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum. (650): And so far nothing been broken! http://tfl.nu/0yij
  Replies (4) Good night (2159) Bad night (272)