Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You can make out without kissing
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives