Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.