Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (817)

Last Night in Texas (817)

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I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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(817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j

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I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.

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(817): I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita. http://tfl.nu/fdg7

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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...

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Cross faded me is not the classiest.

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No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that

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(512): I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed... (512): Cross faded me is not the classiest. (817): No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that http://tfl.nu/rzqz

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Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"

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(817): Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn" http://tfl.nu/96q8

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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.

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(817): Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go. http://tfl.nu/gkdk

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apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon

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(817): apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/fh3y

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Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.

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(817): Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me. http://tfl.nu/booy

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i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar

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(817): i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar http://tfl.nu/a2fz

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A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10

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(817): A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10 http://tfl.nu/8aoh

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I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?

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(817): I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help? http://tfl.nu/m7i3

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My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person

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(817): My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person http://tfl.nu/r4rm

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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.

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So yeah he had good weed?

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(817): I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft. (817): So yeah he had good weed? http://tfl.nu/m1w9

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This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck

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(817): This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck http://tfl.nu/mv3p

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You should come by for the fire station blow job tour

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(817): You should come by for the fire station blow job tour http://tfl.nu/ymfu

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I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.

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(817): I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday. http://tfl.nu/g52l

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Last Night in Texas (817)

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