How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point