we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me