one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.