After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.