we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.