I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.