not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!