how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Spanking with handcuffs?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You ruined the universe
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.