Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.