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Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
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