I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.