Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (510)

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  (510): View more from California

  I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

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  (510): I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders. http://tfl.nu/3tbi
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  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

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  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
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  ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!

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  (510): ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE! http://tfl.nu/j6yk
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  I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college

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  (510): I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college http://tfl.nu/imp1
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  you told grandpa to call you daddy

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  (510): you told grandpa to call you daddy http://tfl.nu/jb8d
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  don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement

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  big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.

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  (925): don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement (510): big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault. http://tfl.nu/lnx0
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  answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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  (510): answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/6rsg
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  I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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  (510): I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting http://tfl.nu/unrs
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  well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it

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  (510): well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it http://tfl.nu/l3dc
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  Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

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  (510): Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it. http://tfl.nu/5742
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  On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.

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  (510): On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible. http://tfl.nu/nz5p
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  i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

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  (510): i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter. http://tfl.nu/xztf
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  stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

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  (510): stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work http://tfl.nu/9l6e
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  He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.

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  (510): He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again. http://tfl.nu/1fxb
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  I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.

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  (510): I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK. http://tfl.nu/4l82
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