Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
DO NOT LOSE IT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor