Texts From Last Night

Last Night in British Columbia (604)

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  With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

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  (604): With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant http://tfl.nu/nhig
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  You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".

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  (604): You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him". http://tfl.nu/d338
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  We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.

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  (604): We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy. http://tfl.nu/wtyc
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  I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights

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  (604): I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights http://tfl.nu/jrwg
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  Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.

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  (604): Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl. http://tfl.nu/vf15
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  Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.

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  (604): Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas. http://tfl.nu/feay
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  Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?

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  And your cock privileges have been revoked.

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  (778): Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck? (604): And your cock privileges have been revoked. http://tfl.nu/u4qr
  Replies (9) Good night (706) Bad night (1243)
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  You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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  (604): You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude.. http://tfl.nu/bx2g
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  If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.

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  And by one day I mean once every two weeks.

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  (604): If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob. (604): And by one day I mean once every two weeks. http://tfl.nu/w0wa
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  I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.

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  (604): I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag. http://tfl.nu/nwen
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  You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.

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  (604): You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed. http://tfl.nu/a2ab
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  That was an excessively violent trivia night

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  (604): That was an excessively violent trivia night http://tfl.nu/kztc
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  My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.

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  (604): My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs. http://tfl.nu/5va8
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  Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"

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  (604): Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer," http://tfl.nu/po39
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  He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"

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  (604): He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked" http://tfl.nu/v4rb
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