Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (504)

Last Night in Louisiana (504)

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how can getting a pizza be this hard?

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when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible

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(504): how can getting a pizza be this hard? (817): when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible http://tfl.nu/zgw8

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once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

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(504): once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead. http://tfl.nu/caf0

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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please

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(504): today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please http://tfl.nu/2mvs

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standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.

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(504): standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules. http://tfl.nu/xkjo

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there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now

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(504): there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now http://tfl.nu/squr

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I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.

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Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER

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(504): I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging. (504): Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER http://tfl.nu/kpd3

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She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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(504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0

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Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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(504): Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come. http://tfl.nu/6ryd

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All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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(504): All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself. http://tfl.nu/wwab

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how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children

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(504): how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children http://tfl.nu/hk2n

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why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?

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(504): why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats? http://tfl.nu/kev5

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i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed

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(504): i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed http://tfl.nu/6hho

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I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.

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(504): I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES. http://tfl.nu/2zjv

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Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.

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(504): Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon. http://tfl.nu/mwyy

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You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.

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(504): You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil. http://tfl.nu/478n

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Last Night in Louisiana (504)

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