Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours