Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.