Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (360)

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  She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

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  (360): She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit http://tfl.nu/vja9
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  You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.

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  (360): You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/13cn
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  thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking

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  (360): thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking http://tfl.nu/sj60
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  corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.

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  (360): corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me. http://tfl.nu/hdp7
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  What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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  (360): What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is. http://tfl.nu/1m0s
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  Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.

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  you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.

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  (360): Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone. (253): you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker. http://tfl.nu/ov6f
  Replies (3) Good night (1972) Bad night (664)
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  This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.

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  (360): This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made. http://tfl.nu/7tve
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  you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.

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  (360): you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own. http://tfl.nu/6swo
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  sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.

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  (360): sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name. http://tfl.nu/z35x
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  Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.

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  (360): Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof. http://tfl.nu/kt4t
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  When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.

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  (360): When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers. http://tfl.nu/l0o6
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  I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.

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  (360): I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show. http://tfl.nu/dv9s
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  I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.

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  (360): I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though. http://tfl.nu/86o1
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  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (2629) Bad night (640)
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  5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina

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  (360): 5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina http://tfl.nu/2med
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