Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?