Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.