Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (352)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father. http://tfl.nu/ymcy
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door? http://tfl.nu/ozrv
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home. http://tfl.nu/59j5
  Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window. http://tfl.nu/ast5
  Replies (10) Good night (1125) Bad night (149) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life. http://tfl.nu/37e0
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Do you have paint?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Paint? I wish

  (727): View more from Florida

  OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Do you have paint? (727): Paint? I wish (727): OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING http://tfl.nu/qyml
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live http://tfl.nu/q9p0
  Replies (11) Good night (353) Bad night (1299) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver http://tfl.nu/yics
  Replies (7) Good night (1019) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans. http://tfl.nu/fhpi
  Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!! http://tfl.nu/bmaq
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive." http://tfl.nu/krpq
  Replies (10) Good night (1625) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night http://tfl.nu/ez8j
  Replies (14) Good night (527) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus. http://tfl.nu/k1xi
  Replies (3) Good night (949) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt