Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (253)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think that's a new house record

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat (1-253): I think that's a new house record http://tfl.nu/c3oi
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (126) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (188) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute. http://tfl.nu/d7nx
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de
  Replies (2) Good night (149) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.

  (206): View more from Washington

  so that's what that room is for...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows. (206): so that's what that room is for... http://tfl.nu/5gyi
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting. http://tfl.nu/k4ds
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight. http://tfl.nu/dlgc
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (167) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some. http://tfl.nu/g1u1
  Replies (9) Good night (392) Bad night (1384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  Wow, he seems so solid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter (1-253): Wow, he seems so solid http://tfl.nu/880c
  Replies (7) Good night (1311) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse.... http://tfl.nu/k31y
  Replies (6) Good night (605) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Pants off. Spirits lifted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Pants off. Spirits lifted. http://tfl.nu/wzml
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs. http://tfl.nu/90kb
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead. http://tfl.nu/ww0m
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. http://tfl.nu/jtoq
  Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (914) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo. http://tfl.nu/ryca
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt