He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.