I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill