I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.