For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood