Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.