His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
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I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling