I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. I can hear the air.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.