if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?