Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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  Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

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  (225): Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it http://tfl.nu/edch
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  I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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  (225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (169)
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  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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  (225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw
  Replies (2) Good night (183) Bad night (434)
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  Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.

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  (225): Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day. http://tfl.nu/xkaq
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (179)
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  I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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  (225): I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys. http://tfl.nu/a4f0
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (450)
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  So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.

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  (225): So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown. http://tfl.nu/2v03
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (173)
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  I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.

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  (225): I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you. http://tfl.nu/gxsp
  Replies (1) Good night (248) Bad night (438)
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  also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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  (225): also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever http://tfl.nu/6lx6
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (272)
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  I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.

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  (225): I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/p6i2
  Replies (5) Good night (615) Bad night (285)
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  I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.

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  (225): I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams. http://tfl.nu/g2d9
  Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (457)
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  Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...

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  (225): Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down... http://tfl.nu/qxa1
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (551)
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  My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am

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  (225): My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am http://tfl.nu/6fcm
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (232)
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  The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.

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  (225): The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night. http://tfl.nu/csqe
  Replies (2) Good night (270) Bad night (505)
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  Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious

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  (225): Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious http://tfl.nu/iev4
  Replies (0) Good night (789) Bad night (299)
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  I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.

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  (225): I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40. http://tfl.nu/yalq
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (311)