Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (225)

Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.

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(225): I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College. http://tfl.nu/xtto

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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying

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(225): Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying http://tfl.nu/s94h

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All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.

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(225): All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much. http://tfl.nu/26fo

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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.

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2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.

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(225): A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening. (225): 2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD. http://tfl.nu/o2xa

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there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob

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(225): there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob http://tfl.nu/syeg

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Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.

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(225): Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into. http://tfl.nu/6a63

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I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

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(225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq

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Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

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(225): Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it http://tfl.nu/edch

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I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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(225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i

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I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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(225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw

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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.

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(225): Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day. http://tfl.nu/xkaq

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I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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(225): I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys. http://tfl.nu/a4f0

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So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.

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(225): So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown. http://tfl.nu/2v03

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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.

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(225): I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you. http://tfl.nu/gxsp

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also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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(225): also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever http://tfl.nu/6lx6

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Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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