Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"

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• (512): View more from Texas

  No just a list of 20 of my favorite things

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Where are penises on the list

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Where am I on the list

  (512): View more from Texas

  Under penises

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain

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