Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (225)

Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob

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(225): there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob http://tfl.nu/syeg

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Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.

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(225): Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into. http://tfl.nu/6a63

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I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

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(225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq

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Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

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(225): Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it http://tfl.nu/edch

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I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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(225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i

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I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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(225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw

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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.

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(225): Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day. http://tfl.nu/xkaq

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I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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(225): I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys. http://tfl.nu/a4f0

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So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.

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(225): So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown. http://tfl.nu/2v03

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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.

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(225): I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you. http://tfl.nu/gxsp

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also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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(225): also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever http://tfl.nu/6lx6

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I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.

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(225): I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/p6i2

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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.

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(225): I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams. http://tfl.nu/g2d9

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Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...

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(225): Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down... http://tfl.nu/qxa1

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My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am

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(225): My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am http://tfl.nu/6fcm

Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (279)

Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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