Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Louisiana (225)

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.

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  (225): I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College. http://tfl.nu/xtto
  Replies (7) Good night (389) Bad night (729)
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  Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying

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  (225): Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying http://tfl.nu/s94h
  Replies (6) Good night (360) Bad night (425)
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  All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.

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  (225): All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much. http://tfl.nu/26fo
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (282)
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  A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.

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  2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.

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  (225): A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening. (225): 2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD. http://tfl.nu/o2xa
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (267)
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  there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob

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  (225): there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob http://tfl.nu/syeg
  Replies (3) Good night (300) Bad night (494)
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  Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.

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  (225): Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into. http://tfl.nu/6a63
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (403)
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  I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

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  (225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (401)
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  Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it

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  (225): Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it http://tfl.nu/edch
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (357)
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  I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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  (225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i
  Replies (1) Good night (921) Bad night (355)
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  I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on

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  (225): I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on http://tfl.nu/vdcw
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (605)
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  Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.

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  (225): Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day. http://tfl.nu/xkaq
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (353)
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  I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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  (225): I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys. http://tfl.nu/a4f0
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (630)
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  So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.

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  (225): So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown. http://tfl.nu/2v03
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (351)
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  I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.

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  (225): I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you. http://tfl.nu/gxsp
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (614)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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  (225): also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever http://tfl.nu/6lx6
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (452)