Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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Sounds like a normal Friday night in Texas.
Go for it. I'm sure the large hole in the ground with spikes is just for show.
It's OK, Baldrick wouldn't know a cunning plan if it painted itself yellow and started tapdancing on the piano, singing "cunning plans are here again".