I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?