He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I have post one night stand depression
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me