It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I have post one night stand depression
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.