She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless