You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Loading more great texts...